Last week was one of those weeks where I was left feeling so inadequate. I don't know what it is about a uterus that makes the family think that mom has all the answers! Like there's a radar inside of me that can detect where every pair of shoes or any other lost item might be! I spent the week arguing with one kid, while I was trying to help the other get through some trials that he was dealing with. As a mom, I find myself feeling frustrated when I can't understand my boys' points of view. I feel guilty when my husband comes home from a long days work, and the only thing to eat for dinner is counter tops of baked goods...and those he can't even eat because they are orders for other people! ...and I have pretty much come to accept the fact that I was born chubby and will, most likely die chubby! After having some 'down time' this past weekend, I have realized that as frustrated as I get about some of this stuff...it's ok! It's all good!
There are shiny, diamond moments that make these frustrations all worth it!
1- My dates with Brant! These are the times that it's just he & I! We laugh, we play, we usually eat something & we TALK! He opens up and tells me how things are going at school and I just cherish these times with him!!! I'm thankful for Brant's love of other people and I'm esp thankful that he's so kind and thoughtful. He has a great love for his family and he has a fun sense of humor!!!
2- The brief moments that Jacob lets me into his world!! For so many years, I have had to pry into his little Autistic world!! Finally after years of hard work as a family and much, MUCH help from therapist and teachers, he OFFERS his hand out to me and invites me in...occasionally! Sometimes he shares things that make me cry (times when he feels he's different from his peers), but most of the times I'm laughing my head off with him! I love that everything is black & white (there's no 'gray' w/him..for the most part, it's either right or wrong) with him and I love his imagination!! Above all, I think I love to watch him write/draw and play with his clay!!
3-My one-on-one play times with Rissa! She is growing so fast and is at such a fun age!! She's learning something new everyday and she just makes me smile. I love it when she comes up to me and pats on my leg, saying, "Mama! Mama! mama!mamamamamamama" ! She points at everything and wants to know what everything is and it's just been such a blessing to have her in our family!
4-The fun that Marty and I have together! I love him soo much!! I'm so thankful for him and that he is so thoughtful and always does things for me to show me he loves me. I can talk to him, I can cry on his shoulder and I can laugh with him. He truly is my best friend!
I have so much to be thankful for and although I do feel inadequate sometimes, I know that I can always stop and look around me and see many positives in my life! I'm trying to learn to not focus on the negatives that I see in myself. I know that I'm not alone in this. I know that other moms deal with this whirlwind of feelings but I usually don't stop and look at the big picture when I'm in the middle of a hard day..or week! I'm grateful that most weeks aren't too bad for me, but even more grateful for my family & friends that help me get through the ones that are!!!
Cupcakes!!
13 years ago
10 comments:
Thanks for sharing your perspective... and you're right. You are absolutely not alone in your feelings.
I remember when I was a kid, my mom telling me that we, her children would find a way to blame the war in the middle east on her. I always thought she was exxagerating, but now, as a Mom, I totally know where she was coming from! Seriously, everything, from homework, to lost shoes, to hurt feelings seems to come back to me. I guess the up side is that the good stuff comes back to me too.
Hey Tiff~
instead of leaving you another message on ronnie's chs page, i'd go straight to your blog! :) and yes, we have one... check us out!
i'm reading your blog and you are so amazing! look at you with your beautiful family and how amazingly talented you are! now i'm feeling envious! :)
ronnie had to jump on and see all of your pictures this morning, too. he esp wanted to see marty. tell him we said hello! And tell your mom hello from us, too!
That was a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing.
We all need a little perspective sometimes; thanks for sharing yours.
P.S.
I fixed the holiday backgrounds on http://mysugarandspicecreations.blogspot.com :)
It is all about the moments.
HI!!! Good to hear from you! It's been years! You have a gorgeous family. You sound like me with th baking orders except I have sewing orders. I sew all day for other people's kids and haven't done my own kids' laundry! Now I'm going to read more of you blog...LOL Glad ya'll are doing well.
Amen! You are wonderful. Thank you for sharing.
It is so hard to keep our perspective all of the time, but it sure does make it nice when we have it and can look at all of the blessings in our lives.
Ahhhhh, a nice real post. Sweet relief Tiffany! DITTO, DITTO and more DITTO! I almost got teary eyed...I've got a big lump in my throat. I am also in one of those "feeling VERY inadequate" stages in life. Glad to know I'm not alone. I loved reading about your sweet kids and hubby!
I can completely relate. I felt like I was reading my own thoughts! It sure helps when you put things in perspective. It is so good to see how you're doing after all these years. Your kids are beautiful! And so are you! Take care!
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